Inside the Life of a Talking Necromancer’s Knife

I have a very special guest on the blog today. He’s a necromancer’s best friend, and this guy has the honor of working with Kari Hunter, the “worst necromancer on the planet”. Please welcome Stubby!

Thanks for having me. I always knew that I would one day rise to greatness. Sure, I hoped it would be because I finally reached my dreams of stabbing a million butt cheeks, but this is almost as good.

Uh, before we get started, I just want to remind Stubby that this is a family-friendly blog, and there will be no murdering, stabbing, or poking of the guests while he’s here.

What? I’ve been tricked! If I had legs I’d march right out of here…

Luckily for our audience, you don’t have legs, so let’s get to it, shall we? I understand you don’t get to work with Kari much, her being anti-sacrifice and all. What do you do with your time?

I actually do get to work with Kari, even more now that Mouth, another knife of hers, is gone. Sadly, Kari wastes her time and squanders her potential as one of the most spectacular killers in history by researching magic on the plane of the dead. So whenever someone needs a pinky or toe stabbed to set off a blood power, I’m your knife. When my spectacular stabbing services aren’t needed, I like to kick back with my fellow knives and watch a little TV.

What’s your favorite TV show?

I don’t have a favorite, but I typically watch crime shows. Can’t get enough of them. I’m always on the edge of my seat, hoping that the heroic killer will get away. Sadly, they rarely do.

Uh, right… Can you give us any juicy secrets about Kari? You know, the kind I can sell to the tabloids for beaucoup bucks?

Yes! Now come close and listen to me very carefully. The truth is: Kari sucks. Come to think of it, that’s not really a secret…

I hope she reads this interview. I hear she has a very special form of punishment for when you misbehave… Oh, no comment now? How about if you could stab anyone in the world, who would it be?

I’m afraid to answer. It might give me another week in the underwear drawer. Don’t laugh! You don’t know what it’s like in there, choking on lace and satin and the scent of flowers. Horrible. Kim Jong Un.

*snickers* Do you think Kari and Mikelis make a cute couple?

Yes! I have high hopes that one day they will become a terrific killing duo!

…

Why are you looking at me like that? Isn’t that what you meant?

What about Kari and the actor Cody Springer?

I like that Cody guy. I hope he sticks around. I think if Kari were finally going to snap and kill someone, it would be him. And my services are always available, if you know what I mean.

Sadly, I do. Now be honest, do you wish Kari didn’t keep her identity a secret so she could take you on tour? Maybe you could even be in the band?

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of living a life on the road, in the spotlight, on the stage, with plenty of adoring groupies to stab backstage. I’d make a great percussion instrument, where I make rhythmic, soothing sounds of sawing people’s limbs off or that squelchy sound of stabbing someone repeatedly in the big toe. Kenny G, call me.

Perhaps that’s not the best idea after all. If you weren’t confined to a drawer or whoever’s holding you, what would be your dream for your life?

Besides stabbing a million butt cheeks? I’d love to be an actor and star in my own crime series as the most amazing murder weapon of all time!

Sounds thrilling. Thank you for taking time to chat with me today!

Want more of Stubby? Check out The Fourth Channel by Jen Kirchner.

For years, Kari Hunter’s fooled the world into thinking she’s just an everyday girl. Sure, she’s the lead singer of world-renowned band Vis Viva, but outside of that, she recycles religiously, is an avid supporter of the environment, and she’s a certifiable coffee addict. But Kari has a secret she keeps from her family, friends, and fans.

Kari Hunter is a necromancer.

The rarest and most powerful of all magic-born, necromancers are notorious for leaving a trail of sacrifices in their wake. But Kari isn’t interested in hurting anyone. She works hard at being as un-necromancer-like as possible: everyone she stabs gets a bandage and a lollipop, and whenever her sacrificial knives get too excited by the prospect of violence, she puts them in time-out… in her lingerie drawer.

But when an agent of voodoo master Ruairí O’Bryne catches Kari using her powers, her secret’s out. And if Ruairí finds out who Kari is, he’ll stop at nothing to make her his next sacrifice.

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Phoenix Feather Gets A New Look!

I’ve decided to change the cover for my first novel, Phoenix Feather. Don’t get me wrong, I love the original cover, even designed the concept myself, but I’m afraid it doesn’t shout, “Look at me!” So I’m giving this one a try. With Valentine’s Day next month, I’m hoping this sweet romance will get a little more love.

Cover art by Char Adlesperger at Wicked Cover Designs

New Species of Coral Discovered?

In a follow-up on the case of the missing Allegro, new evidence suggests the ship was transporting a rare, or previously undiscovered, type of coral. A large chunk of the sparkly white deposit was discovered on the body of the dead crewman found at sea. While official statements from Mr. Irons’s public relations office declare coral a valuable commodity worth stealing, suspicious events surrounding its discovery only bring up more questions.

Though authorities are trying to keep it quiet, a lab technician transporting a piece of this coral to the Undina Research Center for further tests inexplicably pulled off the road, abandoned his car, and plunged into the ocean. Since this is not California where surfer dudes with low IQs would do just this kind of thing for kicks, the police are understandably perplexed. The man likely would have drowned were it not for a Good Samaritan who happened upon the abandoned vehicle.

The lab tech is currently under a 72-hour suicide watch. Our esteemed reporter managed to sneak into the hospital to speak with Mr. Darnell, whose wild ramblings revolved around a beautiful song he felt compelled to find the source of. Some might jump to the conclusion of sirens or mermaids, mythological creatures said to lure men to death with their singing. (Children, take note: Disney got it wrong.)

We have another theory: drugs. It was obvious the man was high out of his mind. Unfortunately, this was not an isolated incident. The next day, the medical examiner was found floating in the harbor. He hadn’t bothered to take off his tie or suit jacket before his swim, and sources say the original piece of coral had been in his office.

So, is this undiscovered species of coral valuable for its scientific discovery? We can be sure there will be quite a contest to see who it will be named after, though how the scientists at the URC will come to that determination is uncertain—they could resort to Rock, Paper, Scissors for all we know. Or perhaps Mr. Irons, who is hardly the biologist type, is interested in more recreational—and profitable—applications for the coral as the new LSD.

This report comes to you from the Examiner, where everything deserves a closer look.

Curious about the adventure?  You can read how it all turns out in Elemental Magic.

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Treachery on the High Seas

A body was discovered at sea by the Coast Guard yesterday. Though the identity has not been released, inside sources say the forty-year-old man was a crew member of the cargo ship, Allegro, which went missing three days ago.

Official statements say they can’t be sure what caused the ship to disappear and stop transmitting GPS coordinates, though anything from a malfunction to bad weather has been hypothesized. Before getting caught and thrown out of the morgue, our esteemed reporter managed to glimpse the body of the crewman recovered from sea—perhaps officials would like us to believe a stray bullet simply hitchhiked through a windstorm. Stranger things have happened.

Pirates seems a plausible theory. We approached the owner of the ship, Christophe Irons, to ask what would be valuable enough to steal. The Fortune 500 businessman has holdings in oil, textiles, and is quite the avid collector of rare and priceless artifacts. He also owns several states and a couple islands. Unfortunately, Mr. Irons declined to comment. It begs the question: what is he hiding? We can only speculate that perhaps he sunk his own ship for the insurance claim. That, or there’s more to this pasty, Eastern European than meets the eye.

In any case, salvagers have been arriving in droves, all drooling over the imagined treasures to be found on the missing Allegro. Many of the men, after a few beers, were happy to share their theories: gold bricks, Chinese terracotta army soldiers, rare jewels or pearls. Some of the more unusual theories included Pandora’s box or the Holy Grail. One man hoped to find a captive magical creature. (No more beer for him.)

Though Mr. Irons’s PR representative made it clear that Mr. Irons wants his rightful property returned to him, his lawyers won’t have much luck against salvager’s law: finder’s keepers. One wonders just what is on that ship that he wants back so badly.

This report comes to you from the Examiner, where everything deserves a closer look.

Curious about the adventure?  You can read how it all turns out in Elemental Magic.

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I hope you enjoyed your visit and come back for more!  You can subscribe using RSS, Twitter, or Facebook.  And if you want to ensure you don’t miss any new releases, you can sign up for the newsletter!

Cover Reveal ~ Dry Spell

I am really excited for the second Elemental Magic novel to come out some time in the next couple months.  I can’t give an exact date because I’ve learned I really can’t predict the future or control unforeseen events (though I’m shooting for early April, fingers crossed).  But take a look at the awesome cover, done by BookGraphics.

Aileen Donovan is an elemental with magical control over water.  When Aileen finds a mummified body at a scientist’s convention in Seattle, she suspects supernatural foul play.  Her amateur sleuthing, however, isn’t the romantic getaway her human boyfriend, Colin, had in mind.  Breaking into crime scenes and fending off black magic doesn’t really set the mood.

As more bodies turn up, Aileen’s insatiable desire to solve the mystery not only pits her against a serial killer, but also a cunning vampire lord, and an elemental agent with ulterior motives.

But the closer Aileen gets to the killer, the further she finds herself from Colin.  Can she try to salvage their relationship and stop a murderer, or is she out of her supernatural league?

You can add the book to your TBR list on Goodreads.

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And here’s a Mash-Up of Awesomeness for your reading pleasure:

Kickass Heroines: Danielle from Ever After, by Tameri Etherton–We like our women strong and feisty!

Rhinestones and Diamonds, by Alina Sayre–It’s not easy living with integrity in a rhinestone world.  (Exceptional post)

Diana Murdock Feels the Cyber Friends Love, by Diana Murdock via/ Elena Aitken’s blog–Cyber friendships don’t have to be superficial.

The Final Word on Fear, by Kate Wood–Have courage in the face of fear.

Amazon: Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts, by Kristen Lamb–A very thought-provoking look at the future of publishing.

Clockwork Prince ~Cassandra Clare

Book Two of The Infernal Devices.

Tessa Gray has found safety in the Shadowhunter Institute of London.  She still doesn’t know what the mysterious Magister wants with her powers, or what she is, but her friends have promised to help her.  But then the Institute is attacked from the inside–another Shadowhunter seeks to supplant the current head of the Institute, Charlotte, which would leave Tessa vulnerable to the Magister.  With caustic Will and sweet Jem by her side, they seek the answers they need in order to save Charlotte’s position.

Secrets will be uncovered, lies exposed, and betrayal from one of their own will bring each of them to the brink of despair.  The walls are coming down.

Cassandra Clare is one of my favorite authors.  Her writing is spectacular, her characters compelling, and her storylines loads of fun.  I definitely enjoyed this book, though my one complaint is there was hardly any of the fast-paced, adventurous battles that I loved in her Mortal Instruments series (the present day companion to this historical fantasy setting).  It focused mostly on investigations and the personal developments of the characters.  Regardless, I loved learning about Will’s past and discovering his secret.  Jem is my favorite, and the way he and Tessa grew closer throughout the story was sweet.  Even Charlotte and Henry had a beautiful, heart-filled moment I hadn’t expected, but loved.

If you haven’t read Clare’s books, you must. 

Pale Demon ~Kim Harrison

This is Book 9 in The Hollows series featuring Rachel Morgan, a witch working as a bounty hunter of sorts, until her life gets turned upside down.  The plot of this book is a culmination of the last two books’ buildup.  Some of you may remember my dislike for the drawn out story arc from White Witch, Black Curse and Black Magic Sanction.  I don’t like it when a plot piece gets dragged across several books, so I was definitely concerned that if I kept reading, I’d find myself bogged down in it.  That didn’t happen.  Kim Harrison has written a fabulous addition, and I must admit that it wouldn’t have been as epic without that buildup.

So, on to the story.  Rachel Morgan has been shunned as a black witch.  She has three days to get across the country to San Francisco and the annual witches’ conference to clear her name.  If she fails, she’ll be trapped in the ever-after with demons for eternity.

A cross-country drive is hard enough with a witch, a pixy, and a living vampire, but to complicate matters, Trent Kalamack convinces Rachel to see him safely across the country as well.  He’s on an elf quest, and despite being enemies in the past, Rachel just can’t seem to say no out of the goodness of her heart.

Disaster awaits them though, as they are pursued by Coven assassins who have no intention of letting Rachel clear her name, and elven assassins who don’t want Trent succeeding in his quest.  An ancient demon is released from his prison and walks in the sun devouring souls.  Even the other demons are afraid of this one, and he sets his sights on Rachel.  How can she prove she’s a good witch if the only way to fight him is to use demon magic?

One thing I love about Harrison’s books is you never know who to trust.  The bad guys continually change, sometimes becoming seemingly good, and then switching back again.  She gives me character whiplash, which I think is quite impressive.  Another aspect I liked about this book that the previous two didn’t have is Rachel coming into herself and her identity.  She’s learning who she is and what she’s capable of, and she’s finally ready to accept it.

So much happens in this book, and I felt exhausted along with the characters when it was finally over.  And the ending?  Well, I can’t give anything away, but if you read the series all the way through beginning to end, you’ll definitely be feeling more of that character whiplash!

Prophecy of the Sisters ~Michelle Zink

Lia and Alice Milthorpe, twins, have just lost their father, and with his death, a dark and ancient prophecy begins to come to life, one that pits these two sisters against each other.  One is the Guardian, and one is the Gate.  One must prevent the souls of the dead from entering our world; the other seeks to allow them passage.  The lost souls await the arrival of Samael–Lucifer–to bring about the Seven Plagues told of in Revelation.

Lia finds her world turned upside down.  Her wrist bears a strange mark, and suddenly she finds she can fly through the Otherworlds.  When she meets two other girls with similar marks, Lia begins to understand the seriousness and validity of the prophecy.  There are keys that could bring the prophecy to an end for good, and Lia must find them before Alice.  Lia isn’t sure what her part in the prophecy is, but she does know that she and her sister are destined to be enemies.

This could probably be classified as Young Adult Historical fiction, as it takes place in the late 1800s.  It’s also the first in a trilogy.  When Lia first learns about the prophecy, she believes she is the Guardian, but due to a last-minute intervention at their birth, Lia became the Gate.  Her kindhearted nature doesn’t want to accept this fate, especially when her sister, Alice, has a darkness inside her that frightens Lia.

Her struggle isn’t just to solve the mystery and do what’s right, but to fight the destiny that continually calls to her.  This internal battle lends an added depth to the story, rather than if it was simple black and white, good vs. evil.  The mystery is a little slow to unravel, but the tension comes through well with glimpses of Alice and the lost souls pursuing their agenda.

The end of the book is heart-wrenching, though I won’t give it away, and ends with a finality.  The story continues in Guardian of the Gate.