In Dry Spell, Aileen and Colin get a huge surprise when they find out Colin’s sister, Paige, is dating a vampire. What would a vampire want dating a human anyway? Frequent flyer meals?
But hey, not all vampires are vicious and evil. This one’s a private investigator determined to make the world a better place. He doesn’t sound so bad, except for the liquid diet. Still, if you’re going to date a vampire, some ground rules should be set in place from the get-go.
1. No biting without express permission.
2. No dropping by before dawn and intentionally getting “stuck” and having to stay until nightfall.
3. Baggies of blood must be kept in a separate, small cooler, not my refrigerator next to the vegetables.
4. Use the front door. No swinging through my window like you’re Tarzan. (Or a sparkly, moodier version.)
5. If you’re going to be a hero and go after evil dudes, calling to tell me you haven’t been turned to a pile of ash would be greatly appreciated!
What boundaries would you set with your undead boyfriend?
Angela Wallace, Author 
Absolutely LOVE this blog post!!!
Thanks Jillian! 😀
I think I would limit the neck biting to males only and that he had to brush his teeth after meals. Yeah. Definitely the teeth brushing. Any metallic taste during kissing would be a total turn off! Maybe throw in some minty mouthwash, too.
LOVE the teeth brushing, Diana! That’s a must.
Love it Angela! Dating a vampire has never been high on my to-do list but your list sounds very reasonable 🙂
Thanks, Raelyn. 🙂
LOL totally luv it!! Cute!!!
That’s great! I also liked Diana’s idea!
Lol, nice list! I would add to number four that hovering on the outside of a window ten stories up is a little creapy as well 🙂
Haha, yes Susan.
Ahahaha…frequent flyer meals 😛
I’d wear turtlenecks or have a no looking at my neck rule. Fun post!
Lol. “Eyes on mine, buddy.” Thanks, Kate!
You are so funny! No sparkly, moody vampires, please! I’d insist he have his own toothbrush. No sharing mine (which is just gross anyway, but in a pinch you do what you gotta do).
Haha, I thought toothbrush sharing was taboo for any relationship.
I should have added no snacking on the pets.
Great tips! I think I would add feed before coming over so you’re warm.
Fabulous post! I was smiling all the way through it. 😀
Love this Angela! I think I’d also like to know fairly early on about any gypsy curses, à la Angel on Buffy. Can’t have him turning evil every time we get snuggly, can I?!
LOL. You make a valid point, Katy.
Love your rules 🙂 I’d say “no eating in front of me, not even from a blood bag.” I’m a fainter when it comes to blood, and I really don’t need to be bonking my head off the floor every time he got hungry.
Oh dear. That would open up a host of other issues, Marcy, especially if you drew blood during one of your bonks. And it just occurred to me that with pricking my finger all the time, I’d have to be dating one strong vampire.
He should have a rule for her…no garlic of any kind may touch your lips.
Haha, well that’s a post I’ve already got lined up, Susan: Setting Boundaries When Dating a Human. 😉
Yes, definitely have to set some boundaries when it comes to vamp boyfriends. I would add no invitation for his ‘family’ to come into my house, my friends and family are off limits for snacking, and finally…since I don’t get into that whole pasty white look, he’d need to use a self-tanner since he can’t lay out in the sun.
Fun post! 🙂
Nice! I wonder how much tanner a vamp would have to use to make it stick. Thanks for stopping by, Kristy!
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