Setting Boundaries When Dating a Vampire

In Dry Spell, Aileen and Colin get a huge surprise when they find out Colin’s sister, Paige, is dating a vampire.  What would a vampire want dating a human anyway?  Frequent flyer meals?

But hey, not all vampires are vicious and evil.  This one’s a private investigator determined to make the world a better place.  He doesn’t sound so bad, except for the liquid diet.  Still, if you’re going to date a vampire, some ground rules should be set in place from the get-go.

1. No biting without express permission.

2. No dropping by before dawn and intentionally getting “stuck” and having to stay until nightfall.

3. Baggies of blood must be kept in a separate, small cooler, not my refrigerator next to the vegetables.

4. Use the front door.  No swinging through my window like you’re Tarzan.  (Or a sparkly, moodier version.)

5. If you’re going to be a hero and go after evil dudes, calling to tell me you haven’t been turned to a pile of ash would be greatly appreciated!

What boundaries would you set with your undead boyfriend?

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27 comments on “Setting Boundaries When Dating a Vampire

  1. Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says:

    Absolutely LOVE this blog post!!!

  2. I think I would limit the neck biting to males only and that he had to brush his teeth after meals. Yeah. Definitely the teeth brushing. Any metallic taste during kissing would be a total turn off! Maybe throw in some minty mouthwash, too.

  3. Love it Angela! Dating a vampire has never been high on my to-do list but your list sounds very reasonable 🙂

  4. LOL totally luv it!! Cute!!!

  5. Fabio Bueno says:

    That’s great! I also liked Diana’s idea!

  6. Susan A. says:

    Lol, nice list! I would add to number four that hovering on the outside of a window ten stories up is a little creapy as well 🙂

  7. Alina Sayre says:

    Ahahaha…frequent flyer meals 😛

  8. I’d wear turtlenecks or have a no looking at my neck rule. Fun post!

  9. You are so funny! No sparkly, moody vampires, please! I’d insist he have his own toothbrush. No sharing mine (which is just gross anyway, but in a pinch you do what you gotta do).

  10. Great tips! I think I would add feed before coming over so you’re warm.

  11. Debra Kristi says:

    Fabulous post! I was smiling all the way through it. 😀

  12. Katy says:

    Love this Angela! I think I’d also like to know fairly early on about any gypsy curses, à la Angel on Buffy. Can’t have him turning evil every time we get snuggly, can I?!

  13. Love your rules 🙂 I’d say “no eating in front of me, not even from a blood bag.” I’m a fainter when it comes to blood, and I really don’t need to be bonking my head off the floor every time he got hungry.

    • Oh dear. That would open up a host of other issues, Marcy, especially if you drew blood during one of your bonks. And it just occurred to me that with pricking my finger all the time, I’d have to be dating one strong vampire.

  14. Susan says:

    He should have a rule for her…no garlic of any kind may touch your lips.

  15. Yes, definitely have to set some boundaries when it comes to vamp boyfriends. I would add no invitation for his ‘family’ to come into my house, my friends and family are off limits for snacking, and finally…since I don’t get into that whole pasty white look, he’d need to use a self-tanner since he can’t lay out in the sun.

    Fun post! 🙂

  16. […] covered some ground rules for if a human wants to date a vampire, but what about the other way around?  Suppose we’ve got a decent, heroic guy who just […]

  17. […] a perfect example of quick to write, easy and fun to read, and fits her target market. (Check out, Setting Boundaries for your Vampire Boyfriend.) My blog features very little writing. It is fun and fits the feel of my books. I don’t have that […]

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