Writing the Pain I Know

Based on my social media persona, you all probably know me as a writer whose imagination is way more interesting than her everyday life, a person who loves cats and books, and can be funny (on occasion).

What you probably don’t know is behind this computer screen, every single day is a battle with my health. I’m a Type 1 diabetic, but my cells have stopped processing insulin properly. This leads to high blood sugars and stress on the organs. So three months ago I reduced my diet to protein and produce. I was already celiac and couldn’t have wheat gluten, but now all grains, including rice and corn are off the list. I have allergies 24/7, 365 days a year, and the only reason I drink coffee is to keep the migraines at bay—which works most days.

Recently I found out I’ve got heavy metal toxins preventing any form of true healing from happening. That means detox, but if you’ve ever quit giving your body something it’s used to, you’ve probably experienced that things get worse before they get better. Your body doesn’t function very well holding all those toxins tightly in its cells, but when you detox, the floodgates open and all those nasty things are allowed to wreak havoc on your entire system. The plan my doctor lined up will take months, and I must confess that seeing the other side of this path is like looking down a road covered in blinding thick fog—with rattlesnakes in the bushes; I can’t see how far away the end is—or if there is one.

Last October (wow, almost a year ago!) I posted about outliving my expiration date. I’ve made a lot of lifestyle changes since then. I’ve been gluten free for over a year now, something I never thought I could do (or would). I’ve eliminated 99% of sugar, including artificial sweeteners, from my diet—no more cookies, candy, or ice cream. I say 99% because lots of grocery items have some form of sugar, like some canned beans!

The process of making these changes has been brutal, and the most discouraging thing of all is they haven’t made me feel better. With my doctor’s current plan, he hopes I’ll start feeling better in a month. And then we’ll keep going with the regimen for as long as it takes. Can you imagine thinking of recovery time in months or over a year? It’s daunting.

People have asked if I would ever write a character with diabetes or similar health issues, and the answer in the past has always been ‘no.’ When I write, I’d rather spend time with someone who isn’t held back by such weaknesses and inconveniences. One of the reasons I write is to pretend, just for a little, that I can go and do and be someone else.

However, with my current struggles and the frustration, that’s changed. I started a new book and this time my character has just as many health problems as me. Of course, I’m throwing in supernatural stuff as well. 😉 This character will face weakness and learn to find different kinds of strength. Because even though the days are hard and sometimes I feel so discouraged as to cry (or say “screw it all, I want the cookie!”), I keep going. I keep living and doing what I love. Writing this book started out as a therapeutic venture, but I hope the final product will be something worth sharing with you all.

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In the meantime, watch for the release of Earth Tones, Elemental Magic 3 coming October 20th! Check out the book trailer and stay tuned for the cover reveal next Wednesday!

I’m putting together a blog tour for the release with dates in November, and if anyone would like to participate, let me know! You can check out the tour schedule’s page on the right.

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Formatting E-Books Is Like Mud Wrestling

I’ve published four books now, and did the formatting on all of them.  Through repetition, I’ve gotten the hang of it, and even started pre-formatting my drafts so I wouldn’t have to strip it and start over later.  There are also some great guides out there, such as the Smashwords Style Guide.  If you’re looking to format your own books, this is a great place to start.  The basics are the same for everywhere, though some things, such as page breaks, will vary according to website.

Recently, I purchased Legend Maker for Macs, a program that will convert my files to e-books for me.  I must say, I am loving it.  Again, the basics from the Smashwords Guide are still required, and the most significant difference is how to signal a page break.

Here’s the thing, though.  No matter how many times I do it, no matter how many different ways, formatting e-books is like mud wrestling.  It’s tricky and slippery, and no one comes out clean.  It never fails; even if everything in the Word doc looks exactly as it’s supposed to and you’ve followed the directions to the letter, once you hit “convert,” something goes screwy.  Why did my center text move right?  Why is there an extra paragraph space when the scene hasn’t ended?

When I formatted Dreamwalker, I converted it six times before the final version came out looking as it was supposed to.  The first one with Amazon links came out perfect, but the duplicate with B&N links came out funky.  I can’t explain it.  Except to say the computer gremlins came out to throw poo at me.

And that was using Legend Maker.  Despite using Smashwords’s instructions (yes, they’re not infallible), their conversion didn’t recognize my page breaks at all.  And the last time I let Amazon convert my files, the margins ended up squished.

Formatting is dirty, stinky work.  So the next time you’re reading an e-book and something looks off, it’s possible it was an error on the part of the author/formatter.  Or it’s just a little leftover mud from the techno gremlins declaring dominance.  After all, isn’t that how we used to think the world would end—computers taking over?  I know that’s been replaced with the zombie apocalypse, so perhaps our technology is feeling a little slighted.

What tasks, no matter how good you get at them, never go smoothly?  I love hearing from you!

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What is your character’s love language?

Hey guys, today I’m going to talk about character building.  There are a lot of methods and exercises for developing a character.  One of my friends, when trying to get to know her character, will write her in the midst of various emotions: what is she like when she’s happy, when she’s mad, sad, goofy, humiliated, etc.

Another layer to understanding your character is to know what his or her love language is.  Some of you are thinking this only applies to romance writers, but a person’s love language isn’t only about romantic love; it’s about what makes them feel valued and cared for in their relationships.  This might also help you with insight into causes for conflict, especially if your characters have different love languages.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  First, here are the Five Love Languages as defined by Gary Chapman (here’s the website if you want to read more about it; there’s even a published book).

Words of Affirmation–Compliments, praise, and the words “I love you” are very important to this person.  In turn, any insult or verbal degradation could be devastating.  “Sticks and Stones, but words may never hurt me” does not apply to them.

Quality Time–full, undivided attention.  No “let’s have a conversation while I watch TV,” or in a fantasy story (told you it applies across genres), “can you please stop sharpening your sword so we can talk?”  Being cancelled on, or having dates postponed, or the date showing up late are very hurtful.

Receiving Gifts–This person appreciates well-thought-out gifts, gifts that the giver took time to tailor to this specific person.  To the person with this love language, they feel valued when people show they care for and know them when they give them special gifts.  It’s not about materialism, but the thought behind it.  Which means that thoughtless or last-minute gifts are hurtful.  Forgetting occasions where gifts are usually given, like birthdays and anniversaries, is also devastating.

Acts of Service–Helping out and easing one’s burden can show this type of person they’re loved and valued.  The old family sitcom stereotype, “why won’t my husband help clean the house?” probably stems from this love language.  Not helping or making one’s work harder does not speak love to this person.

Physical Touch–Don’t all rush to sex here.  Holding hands, pats on the back, soft touches, and hugs are what make this person feel loved.  Withholding these from someone who needs them will feel like neglect.

So if you have two people, Sherri whose love language is Quality Time, and Marcus who likes gifts, there’s bound to be some conflict.  Marcus the pirate brings back booty to give to his sweetheart because that’s how he feels and communicates love.  Sherri the wench with wanderlust feels like she’s being bought off when all she really wants is for Marcus to sail away with her so they can have adventures and raid merchant ships together.  It’s not their love for each other that’s in question, but how they express it.

Your book might never go into love languages, and your characters never sit down and say, “you know, I’m feeling really unloved because my love language is ___.”  That’s probably a good thing.  We don’t want to get expository on our readers.  Even if you never use these types of conflict, you will still know one more thing about your characters, and it’s up to authors to know everything, even the stuff we don’t show our readers.

So what do you guys think?  Have you ever thought about your character’s love language?  Maybe you have, just under another label?  Do you know what your love language is?

Sometimes The Muse Just Won’t Shut Up

It’s a little after 5am.  I’ve been awake since 3, and am not feeling particularly endeared to my creative gears at the moment.  No one likes Writer’s Block, and I do appreciate my muse when it’s on fire, spouting out plot ideas and crafting sentences…but why must my muse be most active *after* I’ve gone to bed?  I am not nocturnal, by any means, though it appears my muse keeps a vampiric schedule.

 

I keep a notepad and pen in my nightstand for such occasions, quickly jotting down ideas so I don’t forget them come morning.  Sometimes, though, my muse starts writing out a scene in my head, and my hand just can’t keep up with the pace.  So with a heavy sigh, I turn on the light, get out of bed, and go to my computer where I can hastily type up the words swirling around in my head.

Then I try once again to go to sleep.  Do I have visions of sugarplum fairies dancing in my head?  No.  I get more plot ideas and scenes running through my mind like an internal movie screen with no off button.  Sometimes, after laying there for two hours, I can get back to sleep.  Then there are nights like tonight (now today?) where I might as well give it up.  Maybe if I didn’t already have problems with insomnia and sleep deprivation, these little bursts of creativity wouldn’t bother me as much.  But I do, and then my muse makes me cranky.  I had planned on devoting the entire next day to writing, couldn’t it have waited?  As it is, now I’m too tired to jump-start my editing goals.

I have a love-hate relationship with my muse.  What about you?  When does your muse tend to strike with brilliance?  Is it at inconvenient times, inconvenient places?  Or do you have the opposite problem, and your muse broods silently for longer periods of time?

The importance of feedback–and how you take it

 

Writing has been called a solitary pursuit, and while this is mostly true, every writer needs a support system of critique and feedback.  Moms are usually great at support, but not so much on objective comments.  This is where a writing group comes in.  Not only do you get objective feedback (as objective as anyone can be, because let’s face it, writing and reading is a subjective business), but you also get a variety of perspectives.  Everyone interprets things differently based on their schema, the filter with which they see the world that is formed by their background and experiences.  It’s good to know beforehand how a reader might interpret something.  Then you as the writer can decide if you are comfortable with that interpretation, or if something needs to be changed to avoid misconceptions.

 

It’s also great to get input from people who’ve had different experiences.  As writers, we write what we know, but let’s face it, sometimes we have to use our imagination and a little research to go outside our realm of expertise.  We want the details right, don’t we?  I gave a character bruised ribs, and a person in my writer’s group said, “Hey, I’ve had bruised ribs.  Here’s what it’s really like…”

Not all feedback is created equal.  As the writer, you have to take it or leave it, though you should always listen to it first.  We use the word “objective” to describe the ideal kind of critique, but there really is no such thing.  Each reader, however well-read or accomplished in writing, still has their own tastes in what they like to see.  Sometimes a writer and reader click like brain twins.  Sometimes some serious deliberation is needed.  Sometimes we feel like the feedback is coming out of the blue and misses the mark.  That’s okay.  It’s all part of the process.

 

It’s also important for a writer to know his or her tendencies when accepting feedback.  Critique should be a discussion, not be perceived as a personal attack.  It might even help to figure out how you best receive it.  Maybe you need a sandwich delivery: positive/needs improvement/positive.    Maybe you’d like alternative suggestions, or just have something pointed out and you figure it out later yourself.

Yeah, the writing itself is a solitary activity, but writers themselves are not alone.  There’s a huge community out there waiting to embrace each other.  If you don’t already know about the #MyWANA hastag on Twitter, go to Kristen Lamb’s blog and read about it.  http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/join-the-love-revolution-mywana/  #MyWANA means We Are Not Alone (writers).

Happy writing and critiquing,

~Dreaming wide awake

Character Building– “Any likeness to real people is unintentional” (cough)

I personally think writers portrayed on television get a bad rep.  They make us look like melodramatic fools.  When writers talk about their books/characters, they always name them with something that rhymes with the name of someone they know.

Confession: I have only ever once done the name tweak, and that’s because the story was actually based on fact.  It was a personal story, so it helped to keep the first letters of the names the same rather than severing my connection to it.  But really, should writers be preserving that personal connection when writing fiction?  I also don’t take real people and wrap them up in different clothing to put in a book.  I might take one feature, like a name, occupation, or hobby, but never the entire personality.

Whenever people I work with find out I’m a writer, they worry that I’m going to write a tell-all book about my crazy co-workers.  Yeah, not that kind of writer.

However, I have a few friends who actually want me to put them in a book.  I even had one book brainstormed in which I would put all my friends as characters (in spirit only, not in name rhyming, personality, or bio).  Too bad it’s fizzled out…I’ll have to find a new home for these imaginary doppelgangers.

What about other writers out there?  Do you draw from real people?  Anyone begging to be immortalized in your next work?