Setting Boundaries When Dating a Human

We covered some ground rules for if a human wants to date a vampire, but what about the other way around?  Suppose we’ve got a decent, heroic guy who just happens to be one of the undead?  Just because he drinks blood doesn’t mean he can’t have standards.

1. Don’t ask me to bite you.  I know you’ve read all those paranormal romance books where biting and sex equals the greatest experience on the planet, but trust me, it can get messy.

2. No role-playing.  You’re not Buffy, and I don’t want to see a stake hidden under your pillow.

3. Don’t try to have important conversations or talk me into stuff around dawn when I’m too tried to properly listen.

4. If you’re mad at me, don’t throw my bags of blood down the sink.  That stuff is hard to come by!

5.  I can’t introduce you to Edward, so don’t ask.

What would you add to the list?

Setting Boundaries When Dating a Vampire

In Dry Spell, Aileen and Colin get a huge surprise when they find out Colin’s sister, Paige, is dating a vampire.  What would a vampire want dating a human anyway?  Frequent flyer meals?

But hey, not all vampires are vicious and evil.  This one’s a private investigator determined to make the world a better place.  He doesn’t sound so bad, except for the liquid diet.  Still, if you’re going to date a vampire, some ground rules should be set in place from the get-go.

1. No biting without express permission.

2. No dropping by before dawn and intentionally getting “stuck” and having to stay until nightfall.

3. Baggies of blood must be kept in a separate, small cooler, not my refrigerator next to the vegetables.

4. Use the front door.  No swinging through my window like you’re Tarzan.  (Or a sparkly, moodier version.)

5. If you’re going to be a hero and go after evil dudes, calling to tell me you haven’t been turned to a pile of ash would be greatly appreciated!

What boundaries would you set with your undead boyfriend?